Hey, Drumpf (a.k.a. President Donald Trump), don’t get too cozy in the White House, because there is a new website that wants to kill you. It’s called ResistanceHole, and it’s your new worst nightmare.
For too long, Mr. President, you’ve been destroying our country from the inside out with your LIES and your TREASONS and—most shameful of all—your RUDE TWEETS. ResistanceHole is here to take a courageous stand against you by pumping out enough shareable content to topple you and the craven liars and incompetent mouth-breathers you surround yourself with.
Mr. Drumpf (President Trump), you should be very afraid, because ResistanceHole is going to fight alongside our beloved hero and legal father, the Honorable Detective Robert Mueller, to kick your orange ass out of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue so fast you’ll be making pee tapes with the KGB in hell by lunchtime. We will unite all the brave #Resistors in this country to expose your web of lies and trap you in a prison of truth. It’s a little prison called “jail,” Mr. President, and there’s a very comfortable Sleep Number bed in there that has your name on it. When ResistanceHole is done with you, sir, the only “travel ban” will be the one keeping your gargantuan Oompa Loompa ass from getting into heaven.
To the brave women and men of the #Resistance: we call upon you to like and share our content so that we can get the web traffic we need to IMPEACH President Trump. We’ve got a long road ahead of us, but make no mistake, together we will prevail. Trump may have the White House and Congress and the Kremlin and Russia and a captive wife and two highly gifted adult sons, but we have something he doesn’t have: the internet. And we’re going to use it to take down Trump and all of his MAGA cronies. Because when they go low, we go viral.
And to anyone who is offended by ResistanceHole’s liberal mission, remember that you can always visit ClickHole’s far-right website PatriotHole to have conservative talking points and terrifying deep-state conspiracies screamed directly at your face. As long as you’re clicking, we don’t really care.