If you want your daily dose of awesome, look no further, because a few brave heroes have just struck a blow for democracy and freedom! Earlier this morning, the San Diego Zoo completely stuck it to Donald Trump by putting an orange wig on one of their giraffes and blowing it up with dynamite!
Take that, Commander In Cheeto!
The San Diego Zoo’s absolutely perfect takedown of America’s first orange president took place in its giraffe habitat at the beginning of peak visiting hours, when zoo officials led a 2,600-pound male giraffe into the middle of the enclosure while “Hail To The Chief” played over the loudspeaker. The giraffe was wearing a bright orange wig that looked exactly like the disastrous comb-over that You Know Who likes to pretend nobody notices. Zoo officials then strapped 600 pounds of TNT to the giraffe, lit the fuse, and watched as the giraffe exploded into a shower of viscera that you just know The Donald could not have been happy about!
Dozens of onlookers were covered with giraffe organs and guts as our Pumpkin In Chief finally got his ass handed to him in the most perfect way possible. Checkmate, President Tiny Hands!
We like to imagine that the wild look of fear in the giraffe’s eyes right before it was completely blown to kingdom come was pretty similar to the look of fear in old Drumpf’s eyes when he learned about the epic clapback he had just received from the San Diego Zoo, and you can just tell that the loud honking sound the giraffe made as the zoo blasted it to pieces was just like the scream Mr. Trump probably was letting out from his golf course at Mar-A-Lago when he found out that a giraffe with his hairdo was blown up in full view of dozens of zoo visitors!
Let’s just put it this way, Mr. Trump: You’re Lord Voldemort, the San Diego Zoo is Harry Potter, and the giraffe in an orange wig that they blasted to smithereens is the Elder Wand that totally took you down!
Absolutely amazing. By blowing up this giraffe, the San Diego Zoo just offered an incredible fuck-you to the twisted orange buffoon currently living in the White House! For the San Diego Zoo, the road to resistance is paved with orange wigs, dead giraffes, and dynamite, and we can’t wait to see what its next epic protest will be!